I hate those nights when I have to cry myself to sleep, making my eyes so puffy the next morning. I din't want this to happen, but tears just roll down my cheeks incontrollably, making me feeling so stupid. Call me childish, making all these happen.... Is just so hard for me to grasp, gasping for air, suffocating myself.
Tranparency, claiming itself vital in a relationshop, but is just so hard to make it happen the way you want it to be. For these, I tried my best, occsionally trying to be a smart alec by keeping some secrets to myself... well then maybe, I really don't have the right to.
For a moment, I stopped and think to myself.. what do I really want?
I want more attention
I want more love
I want being pampered
I want being protected
I want to be understood
I want to be assured
He has given me all these, and on my part.... I'm trying..... I really am.... but that is not enough i guess... I know he's hurt.. arent I?
I hate those arguments............................................................................................ and just be alone..
~ting~
3:42 AM
