*my space*

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

i finally realize, i finally woke up from a long deep sleep since last dec. i finally understand the theory 'opposites attract', not in gender, but in character, in personality. but in the end, how many 'opp attract' can one couple have? i wonder.

i decided to persuade my mum to let me study in Australia aft my poly, wanted to go with kimmy. i'm finally able to let go everything i have here, in fact, i juz realize that there's nothing much that i cant let go of.

i wanna b alone, i wanna b a loner, i wanna do the stuff by myself, i dun wan others to find me dependent of others. i wanna stand on my feet myself.. i realize that he wasn't an impt factor in my life, he isn't.. at all!! mayb is juz that i'm so used to him holding me so lose to his heart.. cunningly...

i feel so stupid, that i feel that i'm the giver more den a taker, aft all these arguments that i have with him, i realise that he thinks wadever that i've done for him are things that i shld have done.. n things that i expect him to do he things that i'm influencing him n thinkin that i;m trying to b very possesive....

on that fateful night at bedok, i realised that mayb he isn't really the one, like wad he tell me, he was very discourage to see the future between us.. mayb all these are coming to an end.. mayb both of us realli had enuff of each other. as wad i tell myself always, i shouldn't waste my tears on him. i would rather tear while watching movie, tear when london was bombed, tear when ppl have nothing to eat.. rather den tear for him because he hurt me.

bpos has tons of things to do today, all the data entry n stuff, till i'm so sick n bored of the stupid com. juz talked to him on the phone. i wanna show him that he's not impt to me at all!!! imagine him telling me that i'm the oni gal that he treats me the worst!! wad an extent a bastard can be.. but anyway.. dun realli have that kinda of much feelings for him ald.. mayb not to the extent that i had for him a year ago.

i dun enjoy doing things for him. but i wan him to b ard!! wada hell i'm thinkin man!!DILYS!! wake up ur F#*$ing idea ...

gtg look for some stuff online.. so sleepy here!~

~ting~

5:12 AM

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